Awkward Pregnancy Conversations In The Grocery Store

I really needed to read this. We’re not currently pregnant, but it’s a definite future possibility. We have seven here on earth and two more saints in Heaven. We were blessed with secondary infertility between our third and fourth children which lasted for seven years…and I remember so well the heartbreak of having someone I had known my whole life say to me, “Well, you don’t really need any more children. Three is a great plenty.” It never stopped the longing in my heart, and it never stopped the immense joy I felt while pregnant each time after! We’ve beheld stares, endured questions, tolerated counting….and thankfully, when we announced that we were pregnant with our youngest, one relative responded with, “After seven comes eleven!” –I take that to mean we’ll at least get positive responses from that person from now on! 😀

I actually had this very question a few weeks before my son was born and I finally had my fill of it that the last person to ever ask me, is it a boy or a girl, that I replied to this mean old woman who was actually looking into our grocery carts and making comments on the food we ate, and did this every week that we were in the same grocery store at the same time, that I said no, we’re having a male Vulcan. My husbands got black hair and is very logical because his father is Spock from Star Trek so we’re thinking of naming the baby Saurek after his great grandfather. I do admit that it annoys me to no end when people call an unborn baby an it or a thing, they are a real live human being for crying out loud!

I think that is a wonderful response!

The one I have heard that I don’t really like is, “We’re going to keep going until we get an ugly one.” Well, eventually, you’re going to stop having kids because of nature. Does that make your last one ugly? Or what if you are blessed with a child with a deformity?

I think you did a great job, and I’m sure the Holy Spirit was guiding you!

(And I HAVE responded to “what are you having” with, “Well, it better be a BABY!”)

[…] Awkward Pregnancy Conversations At The Grocery Store […]

I am expecting my seventh daughter, and I have one boy. I think I have only ever had one, very long, conversation with a lady who assumed it was her responsibility to tell us we shouldn’t have any more children. I have never taken offense to any of the other comments. I’m sure if I had mostly boys people would think I should try for more girls. Children are precious and beautiful, and I am happy to share that joy with them. Why take offense? I just tell people we love children!

My mother was the youngest of 11, and the 8th girl, so I have a huge extended family. Even in our huge family we have situations of awkward conversations like that. My one cousin now has 3 girls, but her brother and his wife just had their third child, which is a boy. She was asked at our family party at Christmas if she was jealous and going to rush to try for another baby so she can finally have a boy!

There is just something about our society that still places high value on male children.

Anyway, congrats and good luck with the big day! May labor be short, and the nurses be kind!

I have 2 girls and we just welcomed our first little boy in July. I am sad to say that comments about will I try for a boy started before I even birthed my first daughter! It always hurts my heart what kind of message that must send to little girls. When I was pregnant with my son and people asked if we were trying for a boy I answered with “no, we were trying for a baby”, lol! I could write a book on rude comments I recieved, but I feel so blessed with each and every one of my children!

The questions don’t stop when the baby is born. You have to have another, just to show them that you weren’t “trying” for a boy! 😉 At least, that’s how it worked for us. Or you can just wink at the girls and tell the gawkers, “Yup, we finally got our boy!”

“One girl is worth more use than 20 boys.” Peter Pan

Classy response! Nicely done! 😀

I’ve found that some folks don’t need an invitation to give me their opinion. We have a girl and a boy 15 months apart, and plan at least one more pregnancy in the near future. I’ve had people look at us and say things like: “One of each! Now, you don’t need any more!” … “You’re all set now! Some people are just so greedy to want to have more kids when they have one of each already!” and … “Well, thank goodness you got your complete set right off the bat!! Now you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant again at your age!”

*sigh* I still don’t know how to answer any of those in a nice way. I’m going to have to come of with a >>polite<< list of responses for when I get pregnant again :-/

Keep up the great work. You're a wonderful example of grace.