Leave a Comment:
18 comments
I just wanted to say that as a certified teacher I support your right to homeschool. However, not all folks who homeschool are as dedicated. 🙁 And, also, just as you wish people not condemn you for your decision, please do not look down upon those who send their children to school. Your “poor dears” comment seems a bit judgemental to me. Every child’s needs are different, even within the same family, and public school serves many just fine, just as private, charter, Montessori, etc. also all work for different children.
Reply[…] happened. I feared this very thing for quite some time and I thought I had all my responses prepared. Most people we meet when we are out at unconventional hours for school-aged chidlren are kind […]
ReplyGreat post!
When someone asks me why I homeschool, I give them just a couple quick reasons THEN I ask them “what made you decide to public school your kids?” Often I don’t even get to ask cuz most people will say they couldn’t do that cause they don’t have the patience. Or need the time away from their kids (which I agree is so painful to hear).
I LOVE the socialization part. I get compliments ALL the time about how well behaved, fun, and smart my kids are. But I still get asked about socialization when people first hear that I homeschool. I’m in direct sales, and bring my kids with me to most of my parties (“playdates”), my daughter dances twice a week and my son is in Tae-Kwon-Do. Plus, come on… we have friends!! Funny how nobody takes that part into account! Don’t forget the grocery store, library, post office, bank… where other people are. It’s not like we stay inside our homes all the time, never getting out!
I hope this sheds a little light to those who haven’t even slightly considered homeschooling.
ReplyI, too, have people tell us all the time how polite and well behaved my children are. They are not angels, I tell you! But I think it’s all because they have no problem talking to people, they answer when they are spoken to, they respect people who are older than them and they are kind and careful with people who are younger. I’m not sure they would have had a chance to learn these things if they had gone off to school all day!
And I think you might be right… When people who aren’t acquainted with homeschooling hear about it, they imagine the kids shut up in their house for 7 or 8 hours like they are at school. And then, surely they aren’t involved in the extras that most school kids are so what could they possibly do in the afternoons and evenings? I can completely understand why they think the way they do. Which is why I wrote this post. I’m hoping some non-homeschoolers might read it and learn a little bit… 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment!
ReplyI really never take offence to peoples reaction or questions about our decision to home school..I use it as an opportunity to joyfully express our excitement over being able to do so! My children are right there with smiling faces, so comfortable to give their reasons why they love it! If nothing else, our enthusiasm hushes their objections:)
ReplyMy experience with negative reactions to our choice is rather new… We moved a few weeks ago and we were met with a lot of “oh….”‘s and “but we have really good schools here…”
I suppose I’ll have to work on my reaction to their reaction a little! 🙂
ReplyI love this. I actually am a certified teacher, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Once I tell them that tid-bit they say “what about socialization?” Or “You are a teacher and you Homeschool!? Why?” My standard response “because I taught in the schools” We send our children to school to learn, not make friends or get an A. At home my kids learn and right along with them. Everyday I learn things that we were never taught in school.
ReplyI love this! Thanks for sharing your experience as a teacher and home-schooler. It’s a great perspective to hear about! Thanks so much for sharing with us!
ReplyMy favorite… My daughter has dance class 5 days a week for a total of 8 hours for the week. Parents can sit in the waiting room & watch the class on the monitors. I was sitting there with another mom and we were watching my daughter in the class chatting and laughing with 3 other girls. The mom said “Don’t she miss not seeing her friends?” (?) “Um… she’s seeing them now.”
ReplyI always love the concerns people whether family, friend, or strangr gets so concerned about only child’s socialization skills, one of our former neighbors was always willing to point out his intelligence and was sue that was because of his being homeschooled but then she would next point out that he talked to her like adult to adult rather than child to adult and that was a BIG concern for her.
ReplyI love this post. I have the most criticism coming from my family 🙁 Sometimes it is awkward and I just try to avoid the whole conversation. Especially because I am a SAHM. They always ask my husband when am I going to work? The “work” I do raising my kids, feeding them home cooked meals and tending to our house don’t count. It is depressing at times. It all goes away when I see that light bulb go off in my kids heads and they learn! We laugh and have a good time learning together.
ReplyOh Carla! I want to give you a big hug! I’ve heard that remark about work too 🙁 In fact, part of why we moved is so that we could afford to keep homeschooling. It’s hard when your family makes you feel so bad about your choice. It is all so much easier when they can be behind you. I remember when we first decided to homeschool, my parents took me aside in their driveway as I was on my way home and they begged me not to homeschool. They changed their minds later 🙂
I’m so glad you find courage in your children! Keep it up and know that what you are doing is right and good… even if others don’t see that. 🙂
ReplyCarla, sometimes people think is perfectly ok to put down women who choose to take care of their family’s needs over working outside of the home. This seems to also be flip side of the coin as well when a woman works. These people need to be told that they cannot have their cake and eat too, so to speak.
ReplyGreat post! Yes, I’ve heard those, too! The thing that strikes me as funny is that no one who knows my children has ever worried about their socialization. The objections I get are from people like cashiers in stores who notice that I have school-age children with me during the day and start asking questions. They are ALL worried about my children’s socialization. And since I don’t make judgements about the parenting skills of people around me in a store whose children have wild haircuts or are dressed seemingly inappropriately or who are throwing temper tantrums – because I simply do not know those people and could not possibly know anything about them – then I am wondering why these strangers are so concerned about our affairs, and what makes them so qualified?? 🙂
Reply“since I don’t make judgements about the parenting skills of people around me in a store whose children have wild haircuts or are dressed seemingly inappropriately or who are throwing temper tantrums”
I Love that! lol I’m not sure what it is about homeschooling that brings out the parenting/educating ‘expert’ in people. I think it’s because we don’t do it the way everyone else does it. After all, only about 4% of kids in America are homeschooled, though the number is growing quickly. We are outside the norm and I think some parents feel like we’re saying that we know better than they do just by choosing a different path. I have seen some parents totally threatened by us and others envious that we had the courage to choose this for our family. So I don’t think they feel ‘qualified’. I think they might feel, without even realizing it, that they need to either defend their choice or tear down our choice.
ReplyI used to get alot of those comments, at the grocery store, the post office and the bank…. but we live in a small town, the same people see us over and over. After a while what I started to hear was, your children are so well behaved! And they began conversing with them beyond “how are you?” and really getting to know them. Now my 8 year old does some shopping on her own and I know that when it comes time to let her spread her wings in those situations, there are people there who I can trust to watch out for her and help her if needed. And it has given her (and my other girls) a huge community in which to learn and communicate and thrive. Win! Win! Win!
ReplyAlex, that’s awesome! 🙂 That’s how it should be, I think. Instead of kids being isolated and “misunderstood” they can be loved. Cherished. Cared about! What an amazing way for a little one to grow up!
Reply